“A life lived without mayonnaise is a wasted life!” - Marcarius Smith -
Hey, someone had to say it.
What are you going to use to make a post-thanksgiving day sandwich if mayonnaise is MIA (Missing In Action)?
Ketchup? Ketchup is Scotty Pippen to mayonnaise’s Michael Jordan!
Mustard? Oh Please, don’t insult me!
Pickle Relish? You wish.
Butter? We all need more butter.
Herbs? Save it for hippies sister!
Horseradish? You’ll never get that one past me!
Jam & Jellies? Yeah sure, in your dreams!
Chutney? I don’t even know what a chutney is!
I will state my premise one more time for all those who are still unclear…
Where’s the damn mayonnaise…I’m trying to make a sandwich here!
Oh wait - the jar was hiding behind the egg nog.
Never mind.
See You Down Yonder Road
Vejanaise is just what the chef ordered for his tofurky sandwich.
And just so ya don’t miss one of life’s true pleasures…maybe even a bucket list kinda thing, I am express mailing a mango chutney…from COSTCO
Costco has a great gift for you! You can fill your tub with 5 gallons of mayonnaise, have a seat and Mrs. Smith can throw in the sandwich fixings. The added bonus is smooth skin and leftovers between your toes for tomorrows turkey and bread! You can make popsicles with whatever doesn’t go down the drain... mmmm that’s my kind of mayonnaise.. just be sure to pull out the beard hairs 😉